Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I just wanted to update everyone. Since I went to get blood work on Saturday to see if the methotraxe shot was working. Instead of my levels going down they went up well in fact they doubled. Which they shouldn't be doing. I was also have some pain. So in the afternoon the doctor had called me to see how I was feeling etc. She told me if the pain got any worse to go to the hospital. SO I had been up all night with pain I finally decided to let Jeremy take me to the hospital. So we went to Magee and I more blood work and another ultra sound. The baby was getting bigger and if I didn't come in when I did my tube could have burst. So I had emergency surgery and they had to remove my only working tube that I have. I'm angry, sad, and allot more just not in the mood to explain more. I just can't put my head around this whole thing. Why me all I want is to be a mommy. I know the adoption funding is slow right now but I know it will happen just not as fast as I want it to. 

Friday, July 20, 2012

Heaven 4 Hauger's 0

The day of July 2 I got to see the most wonderful word I thought(and was told) that I would never get to see on my own PREGNANT. That's right I took 4 tests and they all said the same thing. YAY!!!! So I call our RE and told them I did it on own no shots and they were like WOW you aren's supposed to be able to do that. So I went for bloodwork and it all came back the same yes we were pregnant. So we agreed not to tell anyone about what was going on because of our track record. When I was pregnant before I always started out with bleeding and it got worse from there. Well this one was going fine no bleeding just the normal tired, bloated, ect ect. So I was made an appointment to get an ultrasound to make sure that the was a baby and everything was where. So this past Wednesday I was 6 weeks and 2 days. I went into the office and I was totally sick for the simple fact that everytime I go in for an ultrasound it never turns out well and I hate the question what pregnancy is this for you? This time I said 4 and then they want to know how many kids you have and I always have to say 0. So we finally got to go back and Jeremy wasn't allowed to go with me and I was so upset and then the tech said she would go get him when she was done getting her measurements done.  So I'm laying on the table and I knew something was wrong she wasn't saying anything. So she left and came back with jeremy.  The tech then says let me explain what is going on. She says I don't see anything in your uterus but I do see something behind it. We think that you have an ectopic pregnancy I just broke down how could this be happening again. NO not again. What am I doing wrong why I'm I being punished? So I had to have blood work done and I had to go down to the regular ultrasound. How cruel was that sure send me downstairs with ALL the pregnant women is the place. So they said the same thing the baby was behind my uterus. So I had to get the methotraxe shot again. I'm just so upset I don't want this to be happening again. So I have to go back on sat and Tues for blood work if my levels dont' go down I will have to have another shot or surgery. I just really don't understand I was told I couldn't get pregnant on my own with shots etc etc and when we were so focused on moving forward with adoption bam it happens.  so heaven 4 hauger's 0