Monday, September 12, 2011
First of all I want to apologize to anyone if I offend you but I have to get this out. I've been trying to write this for two days now. So where do I begin. We have game night every week with my brother and my sister in law. We switch houses and take turns making food. So this week it was at our house. So we are having dinner and my brother says to me your gonna be an aunt again(my mouth drops open). WHAT?? Of course I said congrats but inside I'm dying I actually wanted to run into the bathroom and cry and cry. So my SIL says I didn't want this I really didn't want anymore children. Now I'm thinking to myself as I'm looking at Jeremy how could she be saying this and we are going through what we are going through. She has no clue what it is like to be me and what babies and at this point(losing 3) and still no baby and you have a happy healthy little boy and one on the way how dare you. I mean if you really didn't want anymore kids then you should have used some form of birth control. Which they don't use anything. Well duh!! it will happen if you don't well for most people. I'm happy for them because I wanted another nephew or niece but at the same time I'm so jealous and just really do not know what else to say. I WANT a baby I WANT it to be MY TURN!!!!! so on another note I went for hopefully my last blood work this morning after working an 8 hour night shift(yuck). I also scheduled my hopefully last SHG. So we shall see. Lots of prayers appreciated.