After getting our greenlight to TTC this is what I saw yesterday another sign:)

Green light GO GO GO

So I went for my SHG today Oh the pain but it was worth it. The doctor was very happy with the way my surgery turned out and the healing as well.  In his words it's beautiful if I do say so myself. It was hard for me not to laugh. I love him he is totally great. Well the SHG turned out great too and everything is fine. AS for my FSH levels and blood work that I had done on cycle day 3 all came back normal Praise GOD he is great. So no drugs for now YAY that means no shots for now YAY!!! So in the short of things we get the green light to TTC. I'm super excited, scared and worried all at the same time. If we aren't pregnant by January we need to go back and talk about drugs and see what is next.  Also on another note I'm so excited for my friend she had her baby this morning  and he is perfect chubby cheeks and a redhead. I can't wait to meet him. I can't wait for our turn. All I have to say is GOD is good.

As Thursday gets closer and closer I'm having alot of anxiety. I'm going for my SHG hopefully the last one fingers crossed and we will get the result of my blood work that I had earlier this month considering my FSH level and my ovarian reserve. I'm praying for great results. Then we will know if we get the green light to TTC. I've been driving myself totally nuts worrying about this that I've actually gotten hives. Everyone is telling me that it will be fine but they just really don't get the whole thing unless you have been through what I have and other girls that I know. Unless you have experienced the loss of a baby in anyway you don't get it.  I belong to a club that nobody wants to be apart of.  But I'm so privileged to have the support of some wonderful people that know exactly how I feel and what I'm going through. I love you all for that. I really don't know where I would be without you.  You are all strong beautiful women.  I'll also be praying for one of my good friends and you know who you are as she gets induced tomorrow to have her rainbow baby. 

First of all I want to apologize to anyone if I offend you but I have to get this out. I've been trying to write this for two days now.   So where do I begin. We have game night every week with my brother and my sister in law. We switch houses and take turns making food. So this week it was at our house. So we are having dinner and my brother says to me your gonna be an aunt again(my mouth drops open). WHAT?? Of course I said congrats but inside I'm dying I actually wanted to run into the bathroom and cry and cry. So my SIL says I didn't want this I really didn't want anymore children. Now I'm thinking to myself as I'm looking at Jeremy how could she be saying this and we are going through what we are going through. She has no clue what it is like to be me and what babies and at this point(losing 3) and still no baby and you have a happy healthy little boy and one on the way how dare you. I mean if you really didn't want anymore kids then you should have used some form of birth control. Which they don't use anything. Well duh!! it will happen if you don't well for most people. I'm happy for them because I wanted another nephew or niece but at the same time I'm so jealous and just really do not know what else to say. I WANT a baby I WANT it to be MY TURN!!!!!  so on another note I went for hopefully my last blood work this morning after working an 8 hour night shift(yuck). I also scheduled my hopefully last SHG. So we shall see. Lots of prayers appreciated.   

A wonderful saturday with Little Eddie

Playing with the water table

Climbing the slide

Nap time

Putting on Uncle Jeremy's shoes

pretending his toy box is a car

See the bus

checking it out

Driving the bus

On this past Saturday I got to spend so quality (16 hours to be exact) time with my precious little nephew Eddie well he's not that little anymore. See my brother and his wife haven't done anything alone with each other I mean since he was about 8 months old and he will be 19 months this month. Where did the time go? I have enjoyed watching grow and learn new things. Since we had the whole day to spend together we made the best of it, we played outside since it was a nice hot day with the water table and the new slide that Aunt Nannie had gotten, went went to lunch, he took a nap(2hrs) which he doesn't do often for his mommy... after a nap he went outside again to play again.  Uncle Jeremy mowed the grass he was yelling and knocking on the window he wanted to go help mean while he had put jeremy's shoes on.  Eddie loves buses. So since Uncle Jeremy's uncle owns school buses we decided to take him to see one. Well when he saw the bus he said "Oh wow a bussie" that was he calls them.  SO cute. So we let him run up and down the isle of the bus, sit in the seats and even pretend to drive the bus(I'll share pics).  After seeing the buses went went to Jeremy's cousin's birthday party we had fun playing and eating cupcakes. Then it was time to come home we had dinner. While I was cooking he took all of his toys out of his box and climbed in and started making car noises.  Eddie got a bath and put into pj's went cuddled and watched scooby doo and with in about 10 mins he was asleep. After I put him in his little bed he has here I cleaned up the dinner dishes and showered myself. WOW what an exciting day. I could really get use to this. Now I'm just patiently well impatiently waiting for this to happen to me. We had another round of blood work yet and another SHG yuck then we get the green light so to speak. I can't wait. I keep reading about all the things that  are going on with all of my friend's pregnancies and I"m so happy for all of them but  I can't wait for it to be my turn. And to actually bring home a baby of our very own.