Friday, February 17, 2012
I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've been crying and crying because I got my period again. All I want is a baby and that's all I can think about and I mean all I think about. I just really want it to be my turn and I actually get to bring a baby home. I just want to start a new chapter in my life. I see all of my friends and family with babies and toddlers and I want that. I little baby that has my hubby's eyes and smile and mommy's hair. I just feel lost about this whole thing I mean I go to the doctor to start shots and I then something else is wrong it's like I can't win for losing. I have people telling me it will happen don't worry but I am worrying. What if this is not meant for me. Then what? How do I move on not being a mommy. I love being an aunt but its not the same. It's the second best job in the world next to being a mommy. Sorry for rambling
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Oh Shannon. I am so sorry. I know how unfair it all seems right now because I was in your shoes. I was a miserable person to be around, and I was very bitter. I finally got to a peaceful place somehow through prayer, and I made the decision that I was going to be a mother no matter what even if that meant that I had to adopt. I never gave up hoping, but it gave me peace just knowing that I was going to be a mother to someone. God did not give you those desires to not allow you to experience them. Just know that I am always here, and I am praying or you. Hugs and much love...hang in there..
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